Dear little one, your little legs are curled up and you have the tiniest ear listening to my heart. I’m sitting here imagining your future. What will life be like for you? Will you be a musician, firefighter, engineer, astronaut, the president? It’s so much fun thinking of who you will become, especially in these moments when you are so little that really anything is possible. The whole world is in front of you.
When you get bit older you’ll be able to tell me what you want to be when you grow up. And my hope is to give you the encouragement to not give up and become all that you were created to be. My prayer, however, is that no matter what the future holds you will choose to glorify God with everything you do.
Mamas, I think this is probably the hardest thing about parenting. Trusting that God loves our kids more than we do.
Almost 2 years ago a friend died after a 9 month battle with cancer. He was 28 years old.
At his funeral, someone read a tribute from his mom. She said, “It took 9 months to bring you into the world, and 9 months to take you home.”
This has stuck with me ever since. When we watch our bellies grow, hold our new little babies, and spend countless hours rocking them to sleep… we let our minds imagine just what the future will be like. How will our precious, perfect baby impact the world they will live in.
We probably do no imagine that our babies will suffer greatly and die before they turn 30. But really, we don’t know. We don’t know how God will use our babies. I know this sounds morbid, and that’s not the point… stick with me.
While my friend battled for his life, he discovered an opportunity to share the Savior with the world. He shared about God and glorified His name throughout the process with blogging, creating videos to encourage others, talking with his nurses and fellow patients, and standing firm in the belief that while his flesh may lose this battle, God had already won the war.
That’s what I want for my boys. Certainly not that they get cancer and leave this world at a young age. But there will inescapably be suffering. Everyone suffers through something. My hope and prayer is to prepare them. To teach them to glorify God in their actions and words. To help build such a solid foundation for them that when times get tough they don’t fall further than their knees.
If I were to be in charge of the future, my boys would never feel pain. My instinct is to protect them at all costs. Because I love them.
But God loves them more. And He loved them first.
Everyday, I have to give them away. “This is the day the Lord has made.” Not me. The Lord. And He will ultimately move in my kids’ lives in a way that brings them closer to him. Really, there is no other joy than that. While my idea of a future would bring them less pain here on earth, God’s is to bring them no pain for eternity.
Little one, my prayer for you is that you give glory to God in all that you do. That you don’t become disheartened when the world shows its true colors to you. When times get tough, and they will dear one, that you look to heaven for your strength and comfort. That “home” for you is much more than here on earth, but in our Father’s arms.